From 6d9fe45f2feac2862890b967eb175e94e5f6e5e3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: kyonshi Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2025 14:28:43 +0200 Subject: [PATCH] commit --- ttrpg | 74 ----------------------------------------------------------- 1 file changed, 74 deletions(-) diff --git a/ttrpg b/ttrpg index a08a87d..9a3abdf 100644 --- a/ttrpg +++ b/ttrpg @@ -311,77 +311,3 @@ You have only to play at Little Wars three or four times to realize just what a % When Indiana Jones shoots the huge sword fighter in Raiders of the Lost Ark, it became one of the most iconic duels ever primarily because the outcome was totally unexpected. It broke the rules. It wasn’t fair. And we loved it because of that. ― Michael Shea, Return of the Lazy Dungeon Master -% -Q: Why do paladins prefer chain mail? %A: Because it’s holey armor. -% -Q: Why don’t dragons eat paladins? -A: Because they taste lawful. -% -Q: Why can’t a fallen paladin walk straight? -A: He’s out of alignment. -% -Q: How many paladins does it take to change lamp oil? -A: Only one, but they all want to. -% -Q: You know why people love healers? -A: They’re the life of the party. -% -Q: How many clerics does it take to change lamp oil? -A: Just one; to cast cure light-. -% -Q: Did you here about the priests of the Dairy God? -A: Apparently, they have the power to churn undead. -% -Q: Why can’t the undead write music? -A: They can only de-compose. -% -Q: What’s the difference between religions and porcupines? -A: Porcupines have their pricks on the outside. -% -Jesus saves. Everyone else takes full damage. -% -Q: What do you call a mountaintop guarded by rogues? -A: A Sneak Peak. -% -Q: What do you call an entire party of rogues? -A: Surprise Party. -% -A sneak attack is a Jab Well Done -% -Q: Why do rogues prefer leather armor? -A: Because it’s made of Hide. -% -Q:Why do dwarvish bards sound better by the candlelight? -A:Because you can shove wax in your ears. -% -Q: How many wizards does it take to change lamp oil? -A: Depends on what you want it changed into. -% -Hear about the vegetarian oracle who refused to wear shoes, so her feet were hard and tough? She went through long periods of fasting, and as a result suffered from bad breath, and was very thin and lean. So, she was a super callous, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. -% -Why did nobody trust the low dexterity wizard? Because he cantrip at any moment. -% -Two half-orcs walk into a bar. The halfling walks under it. -% -Q: What do you call a halfling fortune-teller who escaped from prison? -A: A small medium at large -% -When the barkeep asked why we carried weapons in the bar, I replied “Mimics”. Then I laughed, he laughed, the table laughed. -% -A Skeleton walked into a tavern and said, “I’ll have a tankard of your finest ale, and a mop.” -% -I could never be a druid, I just don’t trust the trees. They’re too shady. -% -Q: What’s the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer? -A: Class. -% -Q: What happens when a dark elf casts sleep on you? -A: You get drow-sy. -% -Q: How do you know if your magic sword is blunt? -A: When it starts critiuing your form during combat. -% -Q: What’s a great D&D joke? -A: THAC0! -% -A Warlock, a Crusader, and a Marshall walk into a bar. The bartender shouts at them, “Get out of here! Core only!”