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Q: Why do paladins prefer chain mail? %A: Because it’s holey armor.
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Q: Why don’t dragons eat paladins?
A: Because they taste lawful.
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Q: Why can’t a fallen paladin walk straight?
A: He’s out of alignment.
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Q: How many paladins does it take to change lamp oil?
A: Only one, but they all want to.
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Q: You know why people love healers?
A: They’re the life of the party.
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Q: How many clerics does it take to change lamp oil?
A: Just one; to cast cure light-.
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Q: Did you here about the priests of the Dairy God?
A: Apparently, they have the power to churn undead.
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Q: Why can’t the undead write music?
A: They can only de-compose.
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Q: What’s the difference between religions and porcupines?
A: Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.
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Jesus saves. Everyone else takes full damage.
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Q: What do you call a mountaintop guarded by rogues?
A: A Sneak Peak.
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Q: What do you call an entire party of rogues?
A: Surprise Party.
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A sneak attack is a Jab Well Done
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Q: Why do rogues prefer leather armor?
A: Because it’s made of Hide.
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Q:Why do dwarvish bards sound better by the candlelight?
A:Because you can shove wax in your ears.
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Q: How many wizards does it take to change lamp oil?
A: Depends on what you want it changed into.
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Hear about the vegetarian oracle who refused to wear shoes, so her feet were hard and tough? She went through long periods of fasting, and as a result suffered from bad breath, and was very thin and lean. So,>%
Why did nobody trust the low dexterity wizard? Because he cantrip at any moment.
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Two half-orcs walk into a bar. The halfling walks under it.
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Q: What do you call a halfling fortune-teller who escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large
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When the barkeep asked why we carried weapons in the bar, I replied “Mimics”. Then I laughed, he laughed, the table laughed.
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A Skeleton walked into a tavern and said, “I’ll have a tankard of your finest ale, and a mop.”
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I could never be a druid, I just don’t trust the trees. They’re too shady.
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Q: What’s the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer?
A: Class.
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Q: What happens when a dark elf casts sleep on you?
A: You get drow-sy.
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Q: How do you know if your magic sword is blunt?
A: When it starts critiquing your form during combat.
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Q: What’s a great D&D joke?
A: THAC0!
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A Warlock, a Crusader, and a Marshall walk into a bar. The bartender shouts at them, “Get out of here! Core only!”