This commit is contained in:
kyonshi
2025-04-14 14:28:43 +02:00
parent 37e2472062
commit 6d9fe45f2f

74
ttrpg
View File

@@ -311,77 +311,3 @@ You have only to play at Little Wars three or four times to realize just what a
% %
When Indiana Jones shoots the huge sword fighter in Raiders of the Lost Ark, it became one of the most iconic duels ever primarily because the outcome was totally unexpected. It broke the rules. It wasnt fair. And we loved it because of that. When Indiana Jones shoots the huge sword fighter in Raiders of the Lost Ark, it became one of the most iconic duels ever primarily because the outcome was totally unexpected. It broke the rules. It wasnt fair. And we loved it because of that.
― Michael Shea, Return of the Lazy Dungeon Master ― Michael Shea, Return of the Lazy Dungeon Master
%
Q: Why do paladins prefer chain mail? %A: Because its holey armor.
%
Q: Why dont dragons eat paladins?
A: Because they taste lawful.
%
Q: Why cant a fallen paladin walk straight?
A: Hes out of alignment.
%
Q: How many paladins does it take to change lamp oil?
A: Only one, but they all want to.
%
Q: You know why people love healers?
A: Theyre the life of the party.
%
Q: How many clerics does it take to change lamp oil?
A: Just one; to cast cure light-.
%
Q: Did you here about the priests of the Dairy God?
A: Apparently, they have the power to churn undead.
%
Q: Why cant the undead write music?
A: They can only de-compose.
%
Q: Whats the difference between religions and porcupines?
A: Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.
%
Jesus saves. Everyone else takes full damage.
%
Q: What do you call a mountaintop guarded by rogues?
A: A Sneak Peak.
%
Q: What do you call an entire party of rogues?
A: Surprise Party.
%
A sneak attack is a Jab Well Done
%
Q: Why do rogues prefer leather armor?
A: Because its made of Hide.
%
Q:Why do dwarvish bards sound better by the candlelight?
A:Because you can shove wax in your ears.
%
Q: How many wizards does it take to change lamp oil?
A: Depends on what you want it changed into.
%
Hear about the vegetarian oracle who refused to wear shoes, so her feet were hard and tough? She went through long periods of fasting, and as a result suffered from bad breath, and was very thin and lean. So, she was a super callous, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
%
Why did nobody trust the low dexterity wizard? Because he cantrip at any moment.
%
Two half-orcs walk into a bar. The halfling walks under it.
%
Q: What do you call a halfling fortune-teller who escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large
%
When the barkeep asked why we carried weapons in the bar, I replied “Mimics”. Then I laughed, he laughed, the table laughed.
%
A Skeleton walked into a tavern and said, “Ill have a tankard of your finest ale, and a mop.”
%
I could never be a druid, I just dont trust the trees. Theyre too shady.
%
Q: Whats the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer?
A: Class.
%
Q: What happens when a dark elf casts sleep on you?
A: You get drow-sy.
%
Q: How do you know if your magic sword is blunt?
A: When it starts critiuing your form during combat.
%
Q: Whats a great D&D joke?
A: THAC0!
%
A Warlock, a Crusader, and a Marshall walk into a bar. The bartender shouts at them, “Get out of here! Core only!”