mirror of
https://codeberg.org/kyonshi/ttrpg-fortunes.git
synced 2026-01-01 17:48:00 +01:00
76 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
76 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
%
|
||
Q: Why do paladins prefer chain mail? %A: Because it’s holey armor.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: Why don’t dragons eat paladins?
|
||
A: Because they taste lawful.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: Why can’t a fallen paladin walk straight?
|
||
A: He’s out of alignment.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: How many paladins does it take to change lamp oil?
|
||
A: Only one, but they all want to.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: You know why people love healers?
|
||
A: They’re the life of the party.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: How many clerics does it take to change lamp oil?
|
||
A: Just one; to cast cure light-.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: Did you here about the priests of the Dairy God?
|
||
A: Apparently, they have the power to churn undead.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: Why can’t the undead write music?
|
||
A: They can only de-compose.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: What’s the difference between religions and porcupines?
|
||
A: Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.
|
||
%
|
||
Jesus saves. Everyone else takes full damage.
|
||
%
|
||
%
|
||
Q: What do you call a mountaintop guarded by rogues?
|
||
A: A Sneak Peak.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: What do you call an entire party of rogues?
|
||
A: Surprise Party.
|
||
%
|
||
A sneak attack is a Jab Well Done
|
||
%
|
||
Q: Why do rogues prefer leather armor?
|
||
A: Because it’s made of Hide.
|
||
%
|
||
Q:Why do dwarvish bards sound better by the candlelight?
|
||
A:Because you can shove wax in your ears.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: How many wizards does it take to change lamp oil?
|
||
A: Depends on what you want it changed into.
|
||
%
|
||
Hear about the vegetarian oracle who refused to wear shoes, so her feet were hard and tough? She went through long periods of fasting, and as a result suffered from bad breath, and was very thin and lean. So,>%
|
||
Why did nobody trust the low dexterity wizard? Because he cantrip at any moment.
|
||
%
|
||
Two half-orcs walk into a bar. The halfling walks under it.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: What do you call a halfling fortune-teller who escaped from prison?
|
||
A: A small medium at large
|
||
%
|
||
When the barkeep asked why we carried weapons in the bar, I replied “Mimics”. Then I laughed, he laughed, the table laughed.
|
||
%
|
||
A Skeleton walked into a tavern and said, “I’ll have a tankard of your finest ale, and a mop.”
|
||
%
|
||
I could never be a druid, I just don’t trust the trees. They’re too shady.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: What’s the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer?
|
||
A: Class.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: What happens when a dark elf casts sleep on you?
|
||
A: You get drow-sy.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: How do you know if your magic sword is blunt?
|
||
A: When it starts critiquing your form during combat.
|
||
%
|
||
Q: What’s a great D&D joke?
|
||
A: THAC0!
|
||
%
|
||
A Warlock, a Crusader, and a Marshall walk into a bar. The bartender shouts at them, “Get out of here! Core only!”
|
||
|